Funny interlude

In the interest of taking time to smell the roses and breathe, I've compiled a list of funny quotes that make me laugh. Enjoy!

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
(That one was a little cynical but I found it funny. And I love Groucho.)

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley

Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
Bill Cosby

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Steven Wright

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
Stephen Fry

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
Charles M. Schulz

 (The above quotes were taken from brainyquote.com)



Happy de-stressing!